


Deer's Heart

by theoretically_moss



Series: Our Crimson Path [2]
Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Golden Deer Route, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Golden Deer Route Spoilers, Gen, Hurt No Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2019-12-27
Packaged: 2021-02-24 15:35:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21980302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theoretically_moss/pseuds/theoretically_moss
Summary: Once again at the beginning, Byleth chooses to teach Claude. Hating herself over the blood she spilled and the violence she took part in, she hopes to end the war with diplomacy, not death. Though she cannot escape the clutches of conflict so easily.A prequel fic for Hands Stained Crimson about Byleth's time with the Golden Deer and how it affected her.
Series: Our Crimson Path [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1556530
Comments: 4
Kudos: 72





	Deer's Heart

She was back to the day when the bandits attacked. When the three lords ran to Remire and asked for Jeralt’s help. Part of Byleth wanted Edelgard dead then and there, but she protected the girl. Maybe, just maybe this war could be ended peacefully. To do so, Byleth chose to teach the Golden Deer.

Claude, a schemer, seemed to desire peace. Perhaps working with him would allow diplomacy to end the war early. To avoid the countless deaths by Byleth’s hand. So she taught the Deer. She led them through the chaos of the year. None of them were nearly as affected by the missions as the Lions had been. Though that was no doubt in part due to the lack of missions within the Alliance.

Though during each mission, she could see the blood on her blade. The blood that stained her very hands and the world around her. There would be no escape from her past. She tried to shove her thoughts and feelings aside. Even if it meant being cold and distant. She wouldn’t let this pain get the best of her. Death was a part of life. And it was a part of war.

Claude was just as distant. He feigned kindness. He used charm to wrap people around his finger. It became apparent that he desired power. All that diplomacy he used. All of it was for the purpose of gaining power. And he wanted to make use of Byleth’s power when it became known. Whoever he truly was beneath that mask he wore, Byleth couldn’t see.

When the destruction of Remire and the death of Jeralt came back around, rage once again filled Byleth’s very being. She tried so hard to save her father beforehand. During school days, she tried to find and kill Monica. But each attempt failed. The girl eluded her and some attempts instead harmed others.

Byleth couldn’t help but fill with anger. She would kill Monica. Though she could hardly remember what had happened in the past. How she had arrived in eternal darkness. Her memory of the month after Jeralt’s death was gone. Missing from her mind. Almost as though she had died for a month following Jeralt’s demise.

She fell into Solon’s trap, once again returning to unending darkness. And once again gaining Sothis’s power. When she returned and killed Solon, she felt cold and detached from the world. There was only one thing she desired. The safety of the people.

When she locked blades with the Flame Emperor and revealed Edelgard beneath the mask, all were surprised. All except for Byleth. She simply looked down upon the girl with cool and emotionless eyes. If Edelgard would try to start a war here, then Byleth would kill her. Then the war would never happen.

But Edelgard was too quick. She was gone in an instant. She only returned once she had an army, seizing the monastery and once again sending Byleth into a deep slumber. Once again falling deep into the darkness. Though now she could feel the blood of war dripping upon the ground. She could see the blood on her hands.

She should have been faster. Better. Killed Edelgard sooner. That’s what Byleth thought. That man was there once more. Questioning her decision like always. Though he looked down on her, pity clear in his pale green eyes. Like she was some crazed animal that needed to be put down.

Byleth felt like she was drowning in the blood of the dead. Like she was trapped under the weight of the lost, unable to escape. The man wouldn’t help. Only watch. Watch as she suffered. She would be able to escape when she woke. Once again to a world ravaged by war.

When she reunited with Claude, there was no diplomacy. Only a plan to march on the Empire. To fight to the death. Either the Empire or the Alliance would fall. As they moved forward, Byleth watched people fall. Watched blood spill on the battlefield. She would have to spill more blood for this war to end. She would have to kill Edelgard.

They marched on the Imperial Capital, killing the soldiers who stood in their way. Byleth eventually reached the throne room. She held her sword to Edelgard, not donning the look of a monster, but rather the regalia of an emperor. The two were equally matched, though Byleth came out victorious.

The former professor stood over the defeated emperor. She expected the woman to fight back, to hold strong against her to the very end. And yet, Edelgard’s shoulders slumped, holding herself up with her sword. She begged for death. Death by Byleth’s hand alone.

Perhaps another would have hesitated. Would have questioned themself and their willingness to kill. But Byleth did not. The woman she saw kneeling before her was a monster in her eyes. One undeserving of mercy. Undeserving of redemption. She was the reason for so many deaths. So much blood. Byleth brought down her sword, killing the emperor. Bringing an end to this war. No more blood would be spilled.

Yet as she watched blood pool from that dead body, she saw no signs of it stopping. So much blood. It stained everything. It stained the world. It stained Byleth’s very being. She fell to her knees, not over the pain of killing Edelgard, but from the weight of her own deeds.

The Sword of the Creator lay on the floor beside her, covered in blood. And the hands on the ground that held her up were stained crimson. So much blood. Perhaps it was Edelgard’s or another’s. But it didn’t matter. Byleth was just as much of a monster as the woman she killed. Both of them were stained with so much blood. Would she become the same as Edelgard? Or could she free herself from all of this? Perhaps with the end of the war she would be free. Or with her own death.

Claude would never allow it though. There was still more work left. More to do. The war wasn’t over. Hubert left behind more information. The people who worked with Edelgard. Their location so that they might die. More blood to be spilled. Blood of those who killed innocents. Blood responsible for the death of Jeralt and those in Remire.

Byleth steeled herself. Taking down the Agarthans would bring an end to this conflict. And so she did. The Agarthans tried to pull one last trick to kill her with themselves, though Rhea protected Byleth from harm at the cost of her own safety. It was only then that Rhea told all.

Claude questioned the archbishop, getting out the truth of who Byleth was. Of the things Rhea had done to her. The reason for the scar on her chest. Rhea saved her life, but also desired the return of Sothis. Desired for Sothis to overtake and replace Byleth. This whole time she was just a human vessel in Rhea’s eyes. And she hated the archbishop for it.

Though such thoughts were pushed away temporarily when Nemesis attacked. Byleth and Claude killed the man together, hopeful this would be the true end to all of the bloodshed. And after everything they had been through, Claude simply vanished. He ran back to Almyra, taking the crown. He left the fate of a fractured Fódlan on Byleth’s shoulders, leaving her the sole leader.

She was just a mercenary. What did Claude expect, leaving a broken country in the hands of someone so inexperienced? Byleth resented his decision. She worked to fix the country, though all she could see and hear was the suffering of the people. She heard their complaints, but to rebuild would be difficult. She couldn’t help all of them.

As she worked, Byleth dedicated herself to destroying the church’s grasp on Fódlan. She read deeper and deeper into their doctrine. It was wrong. Harmful. Disgusting. Just like what Rhea did to her. No one would suffer due to the church as she did anymore.

She worked so hard, and yet, it would never be enough. She worked for years, maybe even decades. Watched as the system was reworked, and the world became better. Things began to look up. And yet there was still suffering. People were still broken from the war.

Claude would visit every now and again to see the current progress of Fódlan. And to say hello to the one he called friend. Byleth never knew what the word meant. She considered him an ally and student. That’s all she had ever known him as. Though it hardly bothered her. She didn’t care.

Part of her would always be upset at his choice to leave a ruined Fódlan. But he was an ally and student. So she welcomed him with open arms. Only one meeting melted away, losing her senses. Once again left in the darkness of her mind with Sothis sitting before her.

Once again at the beginning.

**Author's Note:**

> I meant to post this earlier today, but I've been very busy with family stuff. But have the Golden Deer prequel fic! And tomorrow will have another chapter of HSC, which is coming closer and closer to the end.


End file.
